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published by The University of Queensland Union, St, Lucia and printed by The Couricr-Moii Printing Service, Camp­

bell Street, Bowcn Hiils, Brisbane.

KENMORE residents were loday shocked to learn Hiaf fhe Jindalee Jabber has struck again. Eighty seven year old Mrs. Madelan Scrudge was disturbed in her slumbers by what she described as a "noise".

Mrs. Scrudge, wife of E. P. Scrudge, Eremitus Professor of Piont Pathology at the University (St. Lucia), told neighbours that she awoke to find a man in her garden.

The man, who had Wild Nastursiums dribbling from his

. mouth, lunged at her Snap Dragon. She attempted to screom but he put a hand over her Magnolia. Mrs. Scrudge told neighbours this was the last thing she could remember, "it was terrible", she said. She awoke to find a policewoman kneeling over her.

Police are looking for a prowler described as "dark and shadowy". They have appealed

for the prowler answering this description to come forward as they feel he moy be able to assist them in their enquiries.

However, the Chief of C.I.B., Inspector Nudge, admitted to­day thot they held out little hope of the prowler coming forward as recent developments in the cose had led them to believe that he had hung him­self on a clothesline as he fled.

Police ore looking for a clothesline . . .

PROFESSOR PEGS OUT

Iv. p . SiTiKfpe, Kri'iiiiliis |•r< f«' ^ > of Pliiilt riiliioloKy iit tlie lJiiiv<>r»iiy <if (,>iti>fi»s-lami, tlivd stuiili'nly las! wook. The I'lisiili! JIMIKC of IIK' Sii|ir<Miii' (loiirl ittiil Clui>r \Vitu>-luster of ILililiui Cliiti, .>lr, Jii.Hlici' .S>i)ii(l<;r, .siii<i |(itii<;lil thni llie l'r«>ff>i.tt>r'!< nu'i'or liail hccii Olio iH>titi^iii>|uMl liy Ills iiiiM-rriii^ Joytiltv aitil i)t>vi>lioii

1(> iliHy, {lis c<'a.<t'loss w-rvicc lo tlu! «om-iiiiiniiy ni l:ir/!C and liiii .pusKioii f<ir Iriilli, jiislic**, liard work anil ihc (iff:fiaii «ay . Il was aniii>niirc<l iJiat till* I'rofi'NMtr lias left his st'iilic carliiiiiliU* to llie iMi'iliral Srliool (II<>r.<<loii),

Tlic Jiiili;<' ii<lil<'<l, liOH«'v»'r, that llio l*rofo>s(ir would always IHT reiiicntlii'i'cd for Jii> iii;;rowii tiii'iiail.

^AA^/^/sA^/vsAAA^J^v^ fabulous,finger-lip-turn

Drip Dry TAPS ° ^ ^

M A C K I N T O S H

NO SANTA - CLAUS FOR THE

QUIGLEY'S

LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT BANK? We're here. We hove a full bronch right inside the University, providing every sovings and trading bonk service. Easy to find—

Ist FLOOR STUDENT UNION BUILDING

We also have a sub-branch in the J.D. Story Administration Building, It's handy and you get all banking services there too, Sovings accounts, cheque accounts, overseas business, travellers' cheques — vve provide them all, AND our cheque books and passbooks hove "University of Queensland {St, Lucia)" on them.

HOURS OF BUSINESS :

Sovings Bonk Mon.-Thurs. Friday

Trading Bonk Mon.-Thurs. Friday

Gef with the Sfrengfh

9.30 o.m,. 3 p.m, 9,30 a.m, - 5 p,m.

10 o.m. 10 o.m.

3 p.m. 5 p.m.

BANK COMMONWEALTH . It's the Biggest

By A SPECIAL STAFF REPORTER

S O M E W H E R E the sun is

shining, somewhere children ore

laughing at play. But there is no

joy in the heart of Mrs, Agnes known to many, but a , young man who was kind

Quigley.

secutive evenings — ex-1 hard it was for cats and eluding Pridaj'. for Fred dogs and yaks to kcpjy was a devout Catholic, body and soul togetlicr in

But the stoiy found in our modem society, so lio the lurid pages of the strangled them on siizhl."

new.spapprs ivas mere sen­sationalism. The story I heard from the very lips of Agnes Quigley was the

"And he al\v;iys loved the other kids. They're all secretly masochistic, Mn', he always said to me, and

stoiy of Jier son, not a so to keep them happy he callous murderer as he is always carried a bike-

chain, even .is a tiny tot, and he used to belt all Hie

Yesterday I interviewed;tion of Uic beloved name ll her in her modest hovel a shadow of grief passed

in the middle •^ *'••"' Enoggera Rifle

of the over her hirsute features. Range, but she soon composed

Mrs. Quigley, blithely ignoring tlie bullets fly­ing over our heads (it wa5 range practice day for the local Mafia), invited me In to "have a cuppa tea" as she quaintly put it in her typically Australian servile whine, I felt un­accustomed tears filling my eyes ns I saw this great-hearted woman go­ing about her everyday tasks under conditions that would make an Amazon blanch.

"I suppose", she quaver­ed, as we crouched on the floor sipping our tea, "You've come (o ask me .about Fred." At the nien-

herself once again and resumed her normal expression of noble work­ing-class idiocy.

Then I heard from her own lips the story that has been the talk of the nation for the past three weeks, the story of Fred Quigley, an ordinary builder's labourer and s o m e t i m e itinerant chicken-.sexer, who killed his own dear father (his OWN FATHER, imagine!) Hiriam Quigley, in a fashion which was hor­rible and disgusting in the extreme and then served him up as stew to

and tliouphiful to his dear old mother.

"He was kind and thoughtful to his dear old mother", said Mi-s, Quig­ley. "He served old Hiriam up as stew ori Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday," She turned aside and retched briefly, her motherly bosom heav­ing. I asked her to tell me about Fred's early life — what he had been like as a tot.

He was always kind to animals", said the de­voted moUier, a reminis­cent smile suffusing her features with that glow which is so familiar to all of us from our memories of our own dear mothere. "Put 'em out of their misery, Ma,' he always

other kids over the lug-hole with it," Mrs. Quig­ley smiled as she harken-ed back to these halcyon days of youth riiid laughter,

1 asked her if she had ever had any inkling (hat Fred would one day go bad. "No, indeed, yer lordship", she replied, He'd joke with his father and always be bringing home presents for him. •Someday I'll put you underground. Dad', he said once, with a meny larf. And he'd bring him home calfs . , ,

At this point the inter­view was abruptly ter­minated by a stray bullet. I left the Quigley shack, my heart full, knowing indeed that it is people like Mrs. Qu'igley that

the family on tliree con-^said. He knew just howlmake Australia great

2 — SEMPER FLOREAT, April 28, 1967

SEX - CRAZED SLAYER STALKS

CITY STREETS

BASIL Chimpanzee, 80-year-old drivelling idiot, walked out of the Goodna Insane Asylum yesterday, a f t e r borrowing t h e Superintendent's key. He has not yet been found.

In the public Interest Sunday Thing contacted the Chief Psychiatrist at

Goodna. He admitted under pressure Uiat Chim. panzce could conceivably be dangerous,' When asked If Chimpanzee was a sex-manioc he became suspic­iously evasive. He did admit however, tliat Chim­panzee's sexual desires were "unusual".

MAKE MEN LOOK TWICE

Ate Ihcy sogging ? Arc Ihcy sog-Ojng? Are they sagging. ArD they sogging ? Are they sogging ? Arc tticy sogging? Are tliey sog-Oino? Are they sagging? Are they sagging? Art; (hey sogging? Hove you looked lotcly ? Perhops they ore. Yes, 1hey ore. Yes Ihcy ore. Yes they ore sogging.

They're sogging. They're They're sagging.

sogging. They're They're sogging.

sogging. They're They're sogging, sogging. They're They're sogging.

soflginfl. They're

They're MflOlng. They're sogging.

SEND FOR OUR FREE BLOCK AND TACKLE (Postage $750).

This is Tino Twaddle. Tino's sixteen and P typiste. She's shown here "getting away from it all" ot Surfers Parodisc. (n fact, she tikes Surfers so much she hopes

to become a meter moid one day,

She'd be orlrigbt, mate I

GRAND RAMMER OF SEDUCTIVE

BRETHREN

/or a^ermW I^nqun-ed wi wifflow », where I was told to fill out Form A at window Z.

At window 2 I was totd that I could not fill out Form A uiilil I had nilcd out Form B at window 3. At window 3 I was told that I could itol fill out Form B until I had filled out Form A al windo v 2. What do I do'?—Mr. V.U., Coorparoo.

Crisis Line setit a reporter to investigate and he hasn't come back yet.

OUR beloved daughter, Sunkisl, has become a pjvlhetic slave to the grinding wheels of Inter­

national Ice Cream Vendors. We even give her money to buy the best British tobacco but slic uses it to buy herself a "Chocka-Nut" or a "Carnaby Kick from a Malibu Slick," She pays up to $200 for a halt gallon drum. Wc fear lately that she may have graduated to "soft serves." What are we to do?—Worried, Tingalpa.

Crisis Line contacted a public spirited Bris­bane Pharmacist. The chemist advised that she make an appointment for a rub, rattle |

with her local, friendly chiropractor o and take a course of 688 Double-Acting Evac- g uant, 999 Habit-Destroying Syrup, and 604 ^ Cow-Complex Compound before the appoint- | ment .ind a course of 5x5 Pusher-Bepellant o powder with Built-in Anti-Urge, during the u ftpiwintment. "Worried" has reported that, afer a struggle for the first couple of days, the drugs are winning,

I HAVE just lost both legs In »n accident and am unable to work. My wife has left me and my

children Jeer at me in the streets. I owe ?5,00fl dolUrs ID debts and my Undlord Is going to eWot me tomorrow. I have nol eolen for Ihrce weeks and I think I have leprosy. Help me.—tJ.A., DuUon Park.

Readers will be shocked and disgusted

to learn that the Grand Rammer and

Chief Wife Stealer of the Seductive

Brethren may move to Brisbane.

LOOK AT THIS

This man is toking the obligotory 30-sccond pause in his attempt on the World Massago Record at a Sydney Massogc Parlour. He says : "All right, io it's a bit risque, but it con't 6o ony harm — all proceeds go to tite ogcd, the inratid,

and infant orphons, ond they can't . . .

meet a very important lady

Thii it Angelina Angol. Why it Angelina important} At if we need to t«ll yoj . Angelmo's the g.rt who travelled from Rjshcuttcrt Bay to Melbourne, upsido down in a Viscount boggago comportment — and lived. Angelina sold, " I did it for the experience."

SEMPER FLOREAT, April 28, 1967 — 3

uu^ricz TO^ TH£ OOG

[y^-M^i

Sunday THE INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER

THING President Johnson's

Peace Operation A N Z A C Day Ims been and gone, and Liil»our

Day is coniiiif; up. Rut icl ns hope that the spirit of Anxjic Day is not forgollcn hy then, for uni!uii!ilc<lly there will he the usuni infantile tw wliii wek lo iifie IJIIMHIP l)uy to further their own .siihscrvRlvc enils. Nol of (oiirNC that we tielievc any ilinkuin working •>Kin would 1)0 piirl of nny siirh ihiiig. If wc know him, he's probably home wiinhinf; the rar or lining up some ynbliies for ihc week-cnA.

Dut lMi4k lo AnjMic Day. Once more our grnli-liKle should have been kincllcil afresh for thii»<c Lravc <>ouls who mn<lc the supreme Barrifirc in two prcnl plohal con flirts so wc rouhl live our lives as free men. And who ran hhmic those who rumc Iinck f(»r Iclliu); off a liltle steam one «lay of ilic year? Nol of course, lhat wc «'an condone lawlessness. (Or is lhat our shideiil pranks editorial?)

An/4ii! Day was also a liinely reminder that war is n fireadfnl tliinpr, \niii-h brings ns lo ihe "unhappy conflirl" in Virlnnm. Everyone knows thai luipnhn bombs are nol pleasant thinKs — Ihey eal nwny the flesh anil, then, ihc hone. But life is nol n bed of roses, and Rcmielime.i llirsc ihincs must be «lone, unpleasant ihonch they may seem al the lime.

Tliese are times when wc cannot afford to waver our eonvit'tions. Resides, tlic economy . of South Yielnani, not lo menltnn ours and that of ihe United Stales, is dependent on the war. So there is the dilemma; wc ean bolster onr own eronomy by destroying the North Vietnamese erononiy, or put an end to the Buffering anti risk bringing upon ourselves n repetition of the dreaded lliirlies. Whatever wc do wc should be very careful before wc elinngc a precariously bnlaneeil situation as this. The eoiise«tuenees of rash action could be disastrous. How would you like lo wake up one niorninp to find hordes of little pink Vielnamcsc in yonr backyard?

Not; of course, that I have nnylbinc nsninst Yietnnmcsc people. Sonic of my best friends arc Vieuiamesc people. Itnt, really, bow would rice paddles and water buffaloes and rickshaw pilcnps look in RrSshnnc?

AH in nil, ihcsc arc troubled limes nnd Anzac Day was n timely reminder. But whatever liappcns, President Johnson can rest assured that the prayers ond best wishes of the Auslralian people arc wiih him for his nexl peace operation. And finally, let us all hope thai by the next anniversary of the birth of Anslrnlian nnlionhomi, even grcaler steps will have been taken to bring peace in Vicl-nam a little closer. ^

4 — SEMPER FLOREAT, April 28, 1967

^Put that down, Nip, you don't know where it's been"

KENNEDY LIVES NEW DEVELOPMENT

From HANDLE RANDLESON in Ae»c York

Foggs Pass, Wyoming, U.P.U. More ond more Americans are asking the question : — could this weok - kneed, stoop-shouldered, non - deodor­ized, socially under-mo-tivoted, T.V. i m a g e -f l u n k i n g , unpatriotic, Cuban-loving psychopath called Lee Harvey Oswald really single - handedly h a v e killed patriotic, positive thinking, achieve­ment-orientated, decision-moking, wowingly morried, gracious living. Bedside Fleming, back-braced but hot flushingly handsome, high heel daughtered, confidence i n d u c i n g , ethnic, ossimilotion symbol ond war hero, John F. Kennedy.

For more and more Americans the answer is a resounding, bar - thumping, bourbon - laden, norm -affirming "No".

Well, then who did? The answer more and more Americans are giving is matronly confided, tele­phone torturing, super-marketed "No one". How could a patriotic, positive thinking, achiev e m e n t -orientated, decision making, wowingly married, gracious

living, Bedside Fleming, back braced but hot flush-ingly handsome, high heel daughtered, confidence in­ducing, ethnic assimilation symbol and war hero die ? .No! Kennedy lives!

This is the startling new theory that is sweeping the nation. The theory is the brain child of Sheriff Shortarst of Fagg's Pass. I travelled 800 miles this week to interview Sheriff Shortarst as he sat idly chewing the salt-tanged, centuries old hitching post that stands proudly in front of the charred ruins of his dust laden, oak beamed, office. The sweet smell of corn-grits rose in the back­ground.

After sizing me up for half an hour, he drawled, "Greenhorn, you must be one of those varmints from Pinkertons come nosing around these parts," When I explained I was a reporter from a big Eastern paper, he drawled, "Them ornery critters! They think they've heard all the theories. Well you can just mosey on back and tell'em I've got the grand-daddy of em all."

He paused and squinted shrewdly at the little heap

The People's Revolution .

of dust he had so lovingly scuffed at his feet, and drawled "Kennedy never died".

He refused to elaborate, explaining that he was keeping all the evidence in his head "for safe-keeping."

Other Americans are not so slow to elaborate. One of the most popular theories is that the man shot in Dallas was really an Irish-Brazilian stooge and childhood sweet­heart of Jackie's. According to the theory, the assas­sination was all a blind to cover Kennedy's entry into China where he is posing as the New Mao and will ultimately drive the Red Terror and Yellow Hordes into a f r e n z i e d , but exhausted, House divided amongst Itself, impotent in the jaws of American might for another twenty years.

In support of this theory more and more financially hamstrung, administratively befuddled, intellectually cut-

. . . or Ydfowstone Pork?

off, student beaeigcd, Col­lege Professors are asking "Who else could so inspire the youth of China?"

There are other theories. More and more ideal istically unyield i n g, bourgeoisie-rejecting, materialistically untainted, security-sleuthed, American students are shouting "Yes, Kennedy lives. But as a cowpoke on the L.B.J, ranch. It is all a C.I.A. - inspired conspiracy to keep 'Good Guy, Kennedy' off the air waves".

Others, more tourist • minded souls, plump for

Yogi Bear, The Sheriff be­gan his story "The sun rode high in the Western sky and Fast Jack -rode low in the saddle as his trail weary bronc breasted Fagg's Hill. Little rivulets of sweat etched delicate patterns across Durange's trigger finger as he crouched wait­ing, in the water cask out­side the Happy Nell Saloon.

. He wanted to sneeze . . NEXT WEEK: WHO

KILLED JACK RUBY?

MILK SUPPLY DROPS OFF

THE PRICE of milk will rise on Monday. With icy cold conditions spreading through the dairying districts more and more farmers are complaining of "teat-seizure" amongst their herds.

Sunday Thing spoke to prominent dairy­man, Mr. Max Titus, at the Grab-all Dairy Farmers Co-op. Hall on Wednesday. He told our reporter that the cold weother was causing not only "teot-seirgre" but also chrsnic "udder freexing-up", which often reached dangerous levels.

Mr. Titus said that be- rural ladies are dls-cause of this "Freeze up" some cows had been known to lose their udders when bumped. Fortun­ately, this problem has so far been conrined to cows in the habit of hurdling fences.

It now seems apparent that the milk shortage will continue for some time. Short of waiting for spring there seems little hope of overcoming the crisis unless new methods of wooing the

are covered.

Readers will reinember that when the milk short­age first became apparent, Marrackville rushed onto the market with a big New Super-Dooper Milk Substitute but the Govern, ment rushed through a Bill forcing them to label it "VEGETABLE SLUSH — FOR PIGS AND SKUNKS ONLY."

Steps taken lo get the milk going again incluJ*^

FRUITLESS SEARCH FOR LONE FLYER

Sunday Thing's specially chartered plane mnde long sweeps over llic rucgcd ocean country wliurc ll Is feared the lone pilot GcorBC McGcorge may have come down. At one sta^e our camera man thought he detected an oil slick on the water (see top right hand corner In picture belowl However, on landing it was found to l>c only a poly-unsat-urated whale heaving his last.

the use of mulligrips to shatter the icicles.

When asked what he thought of this practice, prominent veterinarian Dr. Strokem, said, "Ignorant cookies. But you can't ex­pect anything better than 'horse and buggy' tech­niques from Australian farmers." Instead, Dr. Strokem recommended a combination of jack-hammei's and depth charges for which he was local agent.

However, university re­search scientist, Dr. Stn-kem, is working on a suggestion that all herds be fitted with centrally heated G-cup bras. Dr. Stokem is at preset! seeking ways to incorpor­ate two important new design features — dura­bility and the two-way stretch.

The bras must be dur-

Dr. Strokem Dr. Sfokem able as most cows are machine waslicd at least fifty times and they must be the stretch type so fast workers can get through as many as possible with­out having to take all the gear off. Haw haw.

Dr. Stokem atid iiii team are at present carry, ing out laboratory trials. Results to date have been

"very rewarding." Readers will be pleased to know that Sunday Thing, in conjunction witli a Pro­minent Foundation Firm, will feature Lift-Out, Life Size, 3D Supplements on the new bra development as it comes to hand — to hell with the milk short­age.

Has Success spoilt

Normie Rowe ? LONDON : Wlien inter­

viewed in Central Park yesterday, Australian pop idol Normie Rowe said, "People here don't treat

me any different from-back in the early days in Australia when I was jur.t a telegram boy."

RAT DROWNS IN OPEN EWER AT

Residents of St. Lucia have long ccmijlalned about the open .sewer that runs through tlieir suburb. They have always claimed tliat a fence would one day avert a possible tragedv. "We've been on and on to tile Council aboui il," said one residonl. Col. Hoi-se. "and notliing's been done. .\h, yes. tliey make proinLscs, all right. 'We'll fix it first thing tomorrow,' they say, but nothlnE's been done. Atid now "

BANISH GREY HAIR Gfcy Grey Grey Grey Grey Grey Grey Grey Grey Grey Grey Grey Grcv

hair can hair can hair can hair can hoir can hoir con liair con hair can hair con hair can hair can hoir con hair can

be cmbarossing be cmbarassing be cmbarassing bo embarassirig be emborassirig bo cmbarossing bo ctnborassing be cntbarassing bo cmbarossing be cmbarossing bo emborossing be CHilKjrossing be cmbarossing

So can the ugly blacks. FIX the little follicles with

BENSON'S BLOODLESS BLADES

C YVVNA/VVVM

SEMPER FLOREAT, April 28, 1967

I 'IJ THIS WEEK'S WINNING CAPTION

MASKED ' • - f i • :

MARVEL / '' ,.. « c

Bdn^or i/0 uoi/^re. </edc( '.

Bob Itawlzd it up

Well this time Robert (of the (cndacious tongue! Dyer, has really overstepped the marlt. Last week while the family team of Lyie and Miriam Blush were trying to get out the word "Baghdad" and the other team were belting; out Rccthoven's Birthday on their buzzer, Dyer (the big loud mouth) butted in and started chattering about how he'd got Bazza Jones married off and how he'd caught more Marlin than Cassanova ever thought of, and how Dolly always bathed in the soft light of Lux and so on. lie didn't even stop to apologise.

Crack of ihe tceek From Good Ole Dino:

"Wiio was tliat lady I saw you with last night."

"Tliat w.is no lady. Tliat was my wine bottle." I gue-ss it's too mucli lo ask when Australia's going to get its own Dino.

mta fiets a Hit Line of the Week : Prom

none other than Dah-ling Dila. surprisingly enough. "Well Dah-lings", she cooed "How do you like my new moustache ?"

liirdbrain Some woman, with logic

only possible after long hours of mind-snapping television has berated me

lor not awakening to the fact that the Celebrity Game's you-know-who is Carl Reiner. How Reiner can be talking about him­self never a|ipearing on the show Is beyond me as Is when he adds that you-know-who might break in at any moment. Lady, I don't think you have too much ol you know what I bet you enjoy the wrestling.

Dtiek anti Drakes The A.B.C. is to replay

its "Cruise along the Gut­ters Of Brisbane." This critic can't help feeling, however, that Auntie Is in­dulging in the crude tac­tics Of the commercial stations by programming

with a view to increasing the almighty ratings. It's getting to the stage now where a person doesn't know who he's sharing a time-slot with.

Bandstand It's a wonder Brian

Henderson let his name be associated with the last dition of Bandstand (9).

A real shocker. The usually competent ballet spent most of its time picking itself up off the floor. Laurel Lee exuded as much sex appeal as a clothes line full Of off-while B.V.D.'5 doing the Carmen

jMiranda bit (must have borrowed that costume from the Red Hill Reper-atory Group); and to cap it all Henderson had the hide to give all the credit to Arch McKirdy of A.B.C. Radio — the whole show raises the question of ban­ning liquor during TV pro­grams in future.

On ihe Hid Its mooted on the mount

that Nine's newsreader (doubles simultaneously as Nine's funnyman) Ron "the perfect mostril" Baddie, i"; about to do a pilot for a completely new format

quiz sliow. Seems the con­testants ask the compere a question and if lie cets it right within 30 minutes, he picks a pocket. (Tentative title "Pik-a-Pock"). It's all part of the economy drive, I take it. Nine's P.R. (Prize-Racket! men might think they've come up with a little Lu-Lu, but I think it stinks. Still I don't advise any pro­tests — you might get your

^^^^^^vsAA^^^^MMVv'

pickets pocked.

Too fati too fat And aren't all chorus

lines, leaden footed, knock-kneed, overweight, pidgeon toed, butterfingered frumps and flossies, and aren't all floor shows caught-in-the-act studio cleaning, part time Rainbow Room drink-waiting drop-outs from the big time southern night-club circuits.

She: DO YOU LIKE ITALIAN MOVIES?

He: ONLY WHEN THEY'RE YOUNG.

Ignore him, clear and take yourself off to the AVALON on Friday, 28th and Saturday, 29th April, when the University Film Group will be present­ing direct from their sensational one night stand at the Pink Pussycat :—

THE LEOPARD (VIchouH) VANINA VANINI (Rossellini) 8 ^ ( F e l l i n i ) now nicrc's G crcoHve fellow !

L'AVENTURA (Antonioni)

a Kamel filter!

No more cticap Hollywood

Fairy/lou for mc."

^A^^^^^^wv^^^AAAAAA/ 6 — SEMPER FLOREAT, April 28, 1967

PARKING meters are in the news again with story of West End "all-day" meter. Supposed to allow 2 hours only for 10 cents, meter is defective, reads "Expired" after only I f hours. Being used by several local lads in nearby glue factory. How long con it last?

REAL coincidence recenHy when two mini cars of same malie, colour and y e a r r a n i n t o encli oflier in Queen Street. Turned out cacii driver was named Smitli, both tlieir wives were women, and both cars liad registration number NBG-234!

W E L L - KNOWN business man recently bought well - known hor.se from well-known horse trader. To be trained by weli-known horse trainer and raced at well-known race tracks. Purchase price not disclosed officially, but believed to be a well-known figure.

BLOKE we know borrowed some money last week.

CANCER will De on the mind again when Sir Percival Pott, founder of tlie Scrotal

Carcinoma Relief Fund launches new campaign next Wednesday. Slogan will be" "Down with chimney - sweeps next Sunday".

CAN you beat this? One big Brisbane firm has among its emiiloyees a Mr. Brown, two Mr. Greens, and n Miss Black. A really colourful company, don't you Uiink?

BOUGHT to our notice recently by Valley Numismatist, Dudley Stings, when held upside - down, the platyims on the 20 cent coin looks like an upside-down (ilatypus!

OUT-OF-WOIIK bus conductress got rude shock the other dav when told she will have to pay parking fines of j;30 after recent shop­ping e.\pedition. Faced with the prospect of selling her car, she has

HEARD ABOUT TOWN: H.W do you spell a horse? Put if out in a paddock.

apiiealed to the Queens­land Relief Fund for help.

LOUTS down Wynnum way ha\'e discovered new "g.'une";— disturb­ing elderly residents by roaring their speed boats Jicross the mud. Well, they'd better watcii out. Word li.Ts been passed down to local police to give them a pood, swift, kick up the back.side, if they can catch them at it.

WONDER whose feet were aching? Mother and daughter swapped footwear during church service last weekend,

RUMOUR is that firm will be taken over by

another mm sometime this year.

BLOKE we know had car stolen last wx'ck. Wishes to thank young pliceman who gave him a lift to the near­est cab rank.

ONE of the State's leading businessmen, "Stick" UracIIamish. got real kick out of son Groobly's recent effort on school sporting trip. Groobly topped the team's tally for the week­end.

FELLOW regularly

\i'«itea hotel o himsell and ordered three oeers. Told curious publican that he had promised two mates that while they were awav in Viet­nam he would have a grog for them eacli time he went into a pub. Came the day when he came in and only ordered one glass of the "pale brown". Sympathetic publican offered condolences about the diggers num­ber coming up. Fellow l.iughed, "Yeah, they'll be off the beer now".

SOME tut-tutting at yachting function dur­ing the week when City of Brisbane trophy (for line honors) was pre. sented ahead of the trophy for the winner (on TCF) of Sydney-Brisbane yacht race

Blue wat«r vachtsmeD are adamant that line bqnors must take second Dlnce unless vacnt alsc (vhis on time correction factor.

FIVE weeks ago Sunday Thing pub­lished a picture shoW' mg portion of a crowd a( .Albion Park races in 1929. Last week Biindaberg business-inan Wendell Mau-thci ISratul walked in­to Sunday Thing office and pointed out his finger in the photo. He said 38 years ago was too long to remember rtheUier he won or lost that day.

INVETKR.ATE pipe smoker was telling u.** last week that he has developed such a mighty draw that be is burning out at least one pijic a week.

COUPLE of long hair­ed youtlis got a well

deserved cJean-up the othei day A do»m or so diggers out jn Die town gave them an on Che spot haircut Marfe a pretty thorough Job of it too — carload of 'trcs standing by arrusted • he goose-punpiv viu:ns later for indecent ex­posure.

• • •

BOOKING list at one country Home for Way­ward Girls almost two vears long now.

RESIDENTS out Little Asplcy way puzzled by nocturnal visitor. Seems some little animal wriggles its way across the new mown lawns, care­fully unwraps the morning paper, reads it right to left, care­fully wraps it up again, and fades into the bandicoot-scented, idyllic, half light of Little Aspley's rustic meadows. Nobody's caught a glimpse of it yet, but out old timer swears it 's a white billed, eight legged, pure bred, anduluvian, paper-reader he saw back in 1911.

the mating

call ofthe

African Tse-Tse

• • • • • • • • * * * • • • • • • • • • •

May not be Ihc .suliject of vour .sludies, but whalcvcr course youVc liiking you'll find all the necessary books and equipment at the University Bookshop on (he groundii at St. Lucia. When i( comes lo buying those books, remember that you can make i( easy by using (he 10% Students' Discount on Icxf and reference books. Take advanfajjc of (he convenience, buy your books and equipment from (he University Bookshop soon . . . . while you're (here, don'( forget our large range of paper backs.

TheUniversity of Queensland

St. Lucia. Branch at Townsville University College.

• * * * •

)f )f >f )f >f

A-

SEMPER FLOREAt April 28, 1967 — 7

WATCH THIS SPACE NEXT

FRIDAY

w /•,"/,/,/ H'tnit a rave of a ivrrf,pitit! Aitil ic'/u/f licen doing il for you?

# « • # * • *

"PHE Beetles have done absolutely nothing this week. An interesting sidelight to the

wliole deal is lhat 1 got a phone call this week from a guy, who is a second cousin of the fellas' press-agent. Tony Barrow. He told me that there is a definite possibility that the fellas will be laying down a new single some time in the nexl twelve months, so you got that straight from the horses mouth. Oaby. Nothing definite on the track yet. but George is reported to have said, "What can be said is that our latest moustache will be like nothing that's gone be­fore. It'll be called 'The Bearded Clam For­ever.'" Well, I'll stick my neck out and give you a run down on what I see as happening in liie studio Paul will conduct an orchestra of 102 sparrows and 1 lark — the lark harmonising the "Thomas Beecham taught me all 1 know" bit. A very hip backing should be provided by George snoring on a bed of nails, while John brushes Ringo's teeth backwards with the whole deal punctuated by a Pre-Icelandic silence double-tracked with some weird electronics giving a very "Old Grey Marish" effect. Rush out and order It NOW I

P ITY die cover of the hirst Stone's single i(i(jn'l l>e releaned «n Aitslratia. Show» Ulirli

and tlie fciivi, dre»»ed at "ladies of pleasure''\ ivUopping ii up in tite Court of Lotti* tlte 14th. The A tide it xure lo scream up llie clinrls. The Itactiing i» very inlereniing. eonnisliiii; of une guitar and Cltartie il'atl* liummering tlie floor tvith <t fhoe in 414 time. The Iteal rein­forced hy tlie brilliant de'rice of uxing teordi all of Ihe same length (t letters). In fact the tcltole deal really rortis. The li side features a very complex arrangement of tilar, dulcimer, marimhas, rerorder, fowling pieces nnd, at one stage, a full orchestra harked hy same sulfite electronics. Tliis ts nol the wild sound we've come to e.vpect from llic Stones and I can't see il getting anywhere.

INCIDENTALLY, the Stones are definitely mak-' ing a movie. "This time." says Manager Old­ham, "You could swear fhe movie was written specially to suit the Stones' talent" It will be a 1920's type silent In which each Stone plays the other and all play Harpo Mar.K,

The sensational Four Tops have done it again with a recording of their old hit, "Reach Out, And I'll Be There." However, this time as the words have been changed slightly, they are now calling it, "Standing in the Shadows of Love." Pretty groovy title, eh ! In fact these guys .ire so far ahead of everyone else you won't believe it. They always manage to preserve the cha<-ac-tcrisllc Tops sound — same lyrics, same instru­mentation, same harsh p.seudo-gospol chaiuing voices. It just goes to show, you can't have too much of a good thing.

Some small-time D.J. says I've fallen for a oromo stunt with the '•Jimmy Hendrix oxperi-ente." Well, friend, just you try playing guitar with your elbow while .scratching your eurliole with your oilier arm.

I T talies tlie Who to conic tip with a stage act lhat really puts them out front. The whale

rave-up, based loosely on Shakespearean Comedy witli Dndaislic Raclidropt. goes soinelliiiig lilip, thin: during the four u\iniites thai they are on stage, five of llipir tracks arc played simultaneously over ticeiity kirked-in amplifiers, while the fellas, dressed bikinis and tiaras, race into tlie audience screaming Nursery Khymes in falsello voices. They assault as many 7,'i year olds as possible and smnsh up seats until the security guards manage to wrestle them back on stage. There, tlieir Managers liore been stiring up a storm willi sulphur honifn and laughing gas, I slioulda mentioned the wtiole rave-up is done in a haze of infra-red lights filtered ihru a deluge of lavender water. And wlien the fellas gel a little hung-up with the whole scene ttiey liurl phasfdiorus bombs inio the audience sliouling, "Lovers of tlie Theatre! Confront reality!" Drummer, Keith Moon, says, "H'c'rc going lo develop the tvliole concept further, witen tliey let its out."

* « * • * « •

ON the Monkee scene latest reports indicate that R.C.A. will be spending in the region of

100m. greenbacks promoting their next single, "I'm a Teenage, Pimple-Squeezer," another early Ringo Starr composition. Should really happen for them. Incidontally their last hit has sold 4im. so you can't say they haven't got talent. Meanwhile, the word is the fellas are taking music lessons, so they should be accompanying themselves on record within I2rl8 months. After that, they're scheduled for singing lessons so we may see them doing their own vocals In a coupla years.

N AMES IN THE NEWS: Tom Jones' latest wilt tte '''The Green Green I'asliires of

Smalts". And whatever Iiappcned to the Count Five. They don't seem to get much airplay, do ttipy??? Tick wearing a "Return to Cootan-galta" tie-piuf The Troggs to record D. II. Lawrence's "'Snakes in my Walerlrougli" and tlieir own "Gel 'em down". Princess Margaret thinks Twiggy's "a gas". John Lennon bouglit a new potato peeler. "There are no such things as drugs", lirian Epstein. Herman's Hermits to do the oldie, "Fairyfloss Today". Nancy Sinatra's new hottie, "Gimmie Same of Your Money." I'aul says the new group tlie "Sub­limated Sausages" sliould go far. Biggest

scene lliis week is Snake-

THE SUBLIMATED SAUSAGES

thing on the blues eye Jackson's.

* * * * *

BEST RELEASES: "Let's have a /Hey You, Washerwoman, Taka Ya Hand Of fa My

Sock" — The Rolling Stones; "Simone Smythe and her Amazing Bouncing Pair" — Alan Price Set; "Over and Over and Over and Over" — The Supremes; "Im a Happy Little Vegemiter/ Step Back, Cara-lyn and Kiss Me Now" — Johnny Young; "Day of the I9th Synocopated Decade/But I Need It, Babe" — Bob Dylan; "I'm a Grandmother" — Cliff Richard; "Three Bed, rooms on a Hilltop" — T. S. Eliot.

* * * «• « TONY'S PICK OP THE WEEK; "That's No •t Ladyfinger, Lady" — Joe Banana and His Bunch.

Keep swinging (all you hip hip happies).

J Onf>rcv^ K\o>«^c. /<«>>Ai>j^

Instead of reading the rubbish rhat might hove been here. Hash off and listen to "Between the Buttons."

HERE FOR INSTANT

PLEASURE

)«gi»0*''

M "No! no! you silly clown. Not there . Ah! That's my kind of rhythm . . . Hey! What ore ya doing?" "Putting it bock on the ippy-ippy station.'

P.S. : If you think you're Colour Rodio's on the blink — see an opticion ! i

tt

SUNDAY THING An aftcmpt on the essential goodness of'the

Sunday Papers

Edited by BRIAN TOOHEY. Written by MICHAEL O'ROURKE, RICHARD PINCUS, JOHN CAMPBELL, DAVID MURR, MICHELE JORDANA,

TIMO SAVIMAKI, BRIAN TOOHEY. Art Work by JERALDINE JUST ET AL

Poseurs: SUSAN GEASON, JENNIFER BACIA, RICHARD FREELAND, DAVE MURR 'and no, Mother, he's not

very proud of himself I. BJEULA YEHOOT et ol.

Photogrophy : TED HALLIDAY, ALF NUCIFORA, DAVE

MURR. Business Monogcr: DAVE MURR

Production : SUE PARRY.

J " ^ : SEMPER FLOREAT, April 28, 1967

Overheard at the Bring Bock Ginger Mcggs Younger Set Party. "There's o nice white space

we could use."

First-nighters, Lady.Windamere and Miss Heather Kogg>Hefflng seen at Jccn Genet's stortling new ploy "Stuff the World, Who Wonts to Get on Any-

woy" ot His Majesty's.

First-nighters, Lady Windamcre and Miss Heather Hogg-Hclfing seen at "The Block and White Minstrel

Show" ot Her Majesty's.

The Rev. Pot ("Gold Top"| Hobgoblin, being greeted by mem­bers of the Old Girls' Association of the St. Moud of Poor School for Young Lodics for their annual morning tea and biscuits.

• • • • » • •_•• • • » - • • • • • • • • - - • -^

Lady Ottoline &" Bertrand Russell

' I was ready to die for one night in the sack

with Lady Ottoline' Ninety-nine years of deep unhappiness ended for Bertrand Russell when he and Lady Ottoline Morrell fell in love, despite the fact that she hod o face "something like on orangoutang, and very beauti­ful hoir of on unusual colour, more or less like that of an orangoutang . . ." Don't miss the marvellous, eventful i-eminiscences of Philosopher Betrond

Russell during his early years :

The Autobiography of

mSSELLlfd or " W H A T THE BUTLER S A W "

Continues this Saturday in

Aujtrolla's only quolily Dally

• • • • • • 4 » »

SEMPER FLOREAT, April 28, 1967 — 9

Tell me Gerard Montey, am I a malor minor or minor mojor poet 7

You're on ddmon, ta back off. For the real of it

for the high heel, hot feel,

extravagant peel of it

for the heaven sent, impossible-to-invent,

everlasting luxuriance of it

Look for the good ole

10 — SEMPER FLOREAT, Aprii 28, 1967

First-nighters, Lody Windermere and Miss Heother Hogg.Hefting, seen outside the "Men's" ot the Albert Hall, where fhe St. Gertrude's Choir pro­

duction of Homlet is now ploying.

Mr. and Mrs. Goer outside The Church of the Good Saint

Bostion of Holy Blunderbuss, after their morrioge on

Soturdoy,

He's the centre of attraction in his..

STUART suir

Cell ffonny-ffish seen plowing out the candles on her twenty-first birthday coke at the smoll party given by her porcnts, Mr. ond Mrs. ffonny-ffish,

ot the Little Saveloy lost night.

Home from Boording School in Sydney

for o brief stoy with her parents is

Chcroo Ripper.

THE BEST SUIT RANGE IN TOWN FROM . . .

18 GNS.

SEE STUARTS WINDOW

DISPLAY NOW!

10% DISCOUNT TO ALL STUDENTS PRE-SENTING UNION

CARDS.

Stuart SUIT SPECIALIST

PRUDENTIAL BLDG.. NORTH QUAY (OPP. THE TREASURY)

SEMPER FLOREAT, April 28, 1967 — 11

SUNDAY THING

HI COCOCOCOCOCOCOCOCOCOCOCOCOCOCO£n-J7 >Z^ U U U J U J l U U I U I I M U I L U U l l J I U U J I U j J j s a i l ^ S cttDsasofiafiiosflfiasceafiaeasfleafiafiaSs^Ij S^ j ^ (SI. fiLi fl^ QH (Ska flL flL OH ^ tSU flL flL (SL CC ^ | M MM

(^ Lbl * " ?^ I k ^ ^ #*% ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 1 ^ ^ ^ ^ 1 ^ ^H^ ^H^ ^<% ^ ^ ^ ^ ' ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 9 1 ^ ^ ^ S ^ * ^^F

• / MBI B C ^^^ ^^~ f^^

|c/»cococococococococococ/»coc/»co ^ GA

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, d

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p)

An Object Lesson Athletics

OUR cameraman caught (hese dramaHc action shots at Ihe G.P.S. - University Meet at St. Lucia during the week. They illustrate just about everything that can be wrong with a baton change. The runner on the left has forgotten to shave, increas-

ing his wind resistance. The one on the right looks like he has never heard of a follow through.

And someone should tell him that if you are running you can't have both feet on the ground. (See left frame.) For

a smooth exchange the baton should be greased with yogurt. Spikes should always be worn. (You might walk around bare* foot at home, but not on an athletics field, please.)

At least they are running on the greener side of the track (???).

MONEY AGAIN KINGS swingingest store!

it's the

Kings is olive with music ! It's the bright.swinging

store with the biggest fibrary of records in the

Southern Hemisphere . . . the store with the widest

ond most varied range of instruments in Australia.

Listener or player, your music is at Kings —

in depth !

Go for music — . go for Kings !

SYDNEY, Sat - Big Money won again at Caufield today.

Beezlebub was coming up fast on fhe outside, Chewing Gum was sticking to the rails, and every other horsie joke you've ever heard.

QUEEN ST., CITY AND BRANCHES

12 — SEMPER FLOREAT, April 28, 1967,

THE GEUONIMO KID

Meet the Geroninio Kid, Cassius Clay's ne.xt opponent Ger-onlmo wUl be Clay's U5th opponent for (Ills week. "The others were all brave men and put up a Rreat fiffht," says Clay, "hut this will be my toughest." For the benefit of the coterie of sports reporters and pugil­ists gathered around, Clay read his latest poem :

"I woulda walked archly across the moor,

But this dame Is the fastest thing I ever saw."

Geronimo says, "If I drop my guard Casslus'll find it hard."

•"•.•f~V.i:-i'-5.

Published by The University of Queensland Union, St. Luelo, ond prlntc'd^^'''Tho*Courlcr-Ma)l Pfintlng Service, Campbell Strcof, Bowen Hills, Brisbane.